In the Back Yard, I paused for a while to find myself.

This is the scene I arrived to yesterday, I arrived with my young daughters to Washington DC, after a very very  long trip, two flights and a lay over.

The trip was real as is any other trip in life, one knows there is a beginning and an end.

The picture you see above is the picture i took from the window where i used to sit for years as the girls used to play in the back yard.

We have since grown up in more ways than one. The amusement once found on a swing or on a slide is now one that is found with teenage friends and with i pods and i pads.

For me, i still amuse myself  with letters and words. Now these same letters and words have given my life a new meaning.

Just as there are no leaves on the trees, i too have shed so many color robes. The bareness of the yard reminds me of the bare truths I have endured. With a sad life comes happy memories one constantly builds in ones mind.

My mind is bare like the cherry blossom tree, i hear no children playing, I have no expectations as i sit quietly waiting for spring to appear. Spring like the season. Spring like  the spring of water and Spring like the spring of my life in the beginning of the end of winter.

Bare the truth in the spring whether and in the spring of your life.

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Labor Camp Christmas Pary

There are a group of women here today…

Here Today…

A place called labor camp.

About 100 ladies will stay here to sleep the other warm bodies will go home to sleep next to their husbands after tucking in their kids.

We are sitting in the not garden but cement courtyard of the labor camp.

Those who live here are the guests tonight.

How odd to be a guest in your own home.

Those who are hosting the party are nice but have no sense of what goes on in the guests’ hearts and minds.

When singing jingle bells, we might think of Santa’s sleigh while they think of the x-mas tree empty under in their home back home.

If we remember x-mas is about the birth of a savior then we will all rejoice.



You might wonder about the picture above, I did have one that was more in focus and lighter…. but this is really how I saw the night. I was in a daze, not quite sure what business we had to be there…. I knew some of the ladies that lived there from another visit, and i had a bond with a few. It was nice… I guess it is always nice to try to imagine life if you are the other. I am blessed to have friends and friendships that let me touch the life I hope I never have to live as far as the comforts of life goes.  Of course, who is to say who is more fulfilled in life.

To give a simple smile with out expecting even a gesture back shows that one is grand and satisfied with life. I see the smiles, i receive and I give, but there is a give and take. When it can be a true gift…. like that of a mother’s umbilical cord feeding her child…. giving with out doubt or thought that is beauty in its essence to me.



This is a Christmas Party which took place on December ninth at one of the Labor camps here in Abu Dhabi. There are just over one hundred workers that live here, they work with a local cleaning company.

Acomodations are fine, in the sense that they are clean. There are eight women per room on bunk beds, they share two common bathrooms, each stale has a toilet and shower, it is a wonder how the ladies come out so clean and pretty.

The scene I have described in my poem is last night’s party. A group of about 30 expats had organized the gathering. Food was provided by the Farimont, truly a five star dinner, there was a group of Christmas Carolers, gifts of Television, Karioke machine and washing machine were given and at the end of the night there were arts and crafts being done.

It was a beautiful gesture all in all, but i would think for a real party you need real interaction between the guests and the hosts. In this case the guests being the cleaners in the labor camps and the hosts being the expats who had provided everything from trees to jingle bells. Happy holidays to all. I hope next year the guests can be in their own homes with their own families, hosting their own guests.



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Deconstructing Constructions

I was walking just a few days ago when i came upon THIS.

Two buildings side by side. One of them half demolished the other looking at his own fate.

I am not sure  exactly what captured my sight and my being.

Perhaps because i noticed a pink room and a green room and i started to think of the kids that were in those rooms one day.
Then i started to think about all the people that lived there one day.

All the birthdays that were celebrated, and the possible deaths that may have occurred.  After all i had never seen the inside of a building. I had never seen a building inside out.

I was reminded of myself, my own excavation of my self… the places i have been. The deep dark forest within that helped me find the single pearl. The questions i have asked about births and deaths and children and the elderly.

I like knowing that i ask and i wonder. It is sometimes a bit heavy, perhaps on my shoulders…. like the building that is heavy at its core.

Even when the building comes down the experiences will always and always live. I find that i also might loose parts of my beliefs or one day be a bit heavy and one day light one day blond and another brunette, but the experiences will always remain.

I hope the people in this building are not around…. or if they are i hope they see the demolition as a new start and not as an end.

I hope I too am able to look at myself every now and again with new eyes. Perhaps consider myself as an animal that sheds skin but remains.


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The Essence of Every Message is in the KALAM

The faithful pages of my journals that have helped me traverse across time and space and find my self in a small oyster under the sea and also to  find a small pearl in a dark deep forest.

They welcome me and my mind and my souls  longing to to know the truth about life. They rescue me from times of depression and sorrow and at times they set me free with no parachute but simply with an open heart for flight.

It is simple to write a program when one has no program in mind…
A beautiful simple program led me through the evening of

No coordination necessary when one goes with the flow of the heart and the beat of the Universe surrendering to life.

And each vowel and consonant that come together breath in a reality into KALAM

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I ask myself how can anything empty ever be so filled.

The evening recital and performance of CELL EMPTY OF LIGHT in Abu Dhabi was a great success.

A great success because I was filled with joy and I could see that my accompanists also were filled with light and with delight. Emma Stansfield joined my words with violin and viola and So-Young Park soprano gave flight to “The Angel Who Lost his Wings” .  It is true that the music gives the words a particular power and energy.

I know the audience enjoyed it, because there was a moment in time that they no longer felt like the audience, they felt like travel companions, all on the same journey all in the same jail cell.

It is fantastic to think back to the night i wrote this poem ” The Writing On the Wall Meant Nothing to me”. I was trying to fall asleep half awake perhaps, when it became clear to me that the room I am in could very well be a jail cell… from then the poem took its own life and shed light to many questions I had brewing in me at the time.

I enjoyed the performance in Abu Dhabi, and I am looking forward to taking this message to many other places, initially to Dubai, and soon back to the country that i was raised in, to the US namely to San Francisco and then Washington DC.  I know that the message is one that extends though land and time. The face that we have to be aware of what we do in life and also aware of what we leave behind… may it be a writing on the wall or a piece of garbage by the beach. We are ALL in this together. We all come through the same entry… the same cell.

My recital in One to One Abu Dhabi was truly a perfect setting, and I believe I have chosen the perfect venue in Dubai, at The Pavillion, Down Town Dubai.  As you enter a very welcoming space large, simple…. the auditorium is simple with comfortable cozy bean bag like chairs… A space that can help one travel in space and time.

I look forward to the evening in Dubai, and also other ones to come…
You know that i will keep blogging because I like to extend my invitation to all those that were not able to come and also to those that were there but want a reminder of the night.

Thank  you friends for sharing this part of the journey with me….


Cell Empty of LIGHT will be at the Pavilion Dubai on the 14th December from 7 pm onwards.  Attendance is free of cost.

To find out more about Bahareh, please go to You can follow her tweets @BaharehAmidi and connect with her on Facebook at

Event details and RSVPs for the 14 December event can be its Facebook event page here:

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Gulf News…. Bahareh Amidi

Saturday November 12th 2011

An honor to be part of the news in the Gulf…. never the less on page 5 of the main paper… who would have thought….

I know when one is doing the right thing and is on the right path things happen without rhyme or reason.

Great full for each drop of rain in the desert and in the snow.

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Worker’s camps in Mussafa, Abu Dhabi, story telling

It was an incredible afternoon. It started with me and my dear friend Pamela who has initiated numerous wonderful causes in Abu Dhabi and her two youngest children doing washing machine shopping, a much needed thing at this camp.

It was going to be an afternoon of partying… in our own sense. Some snacks, juices and a game of bingo with prizes and of course me finding my own corner for my story telling.

Yes, indeed the infamous and famous apple story. It was a magical afternoon…. I remember we prayed for each other’s children and also for one of our sister’s who continuosly has had miscarriages and wants a child. May we all be carriers of light. What a glorious life.

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